Come on!

You'll get the full effect of that pun in a minute. When you do, I fully appreciate any and all groans that may result.

So I know this one has been making the rounds for a long time now, but I do feel the need to comment after actually being given the link to it. If you're not in the loop, it is a book about semen. A cookbook. With recipes that all contain jizz. I'm not sure it's a joke. The person who wrote it seems pretty serious about the whole thing.

I mean, srsly, who comes up with this kind of thing? This book must have taken forever to finish! What if there are vegans in the house? Is it OK for them to eat? I mean, they don't even eat honey. Geeze, what a loaded topic! OK, I'll stop now.

But seriously folks, after peeping the cover on the Lulu Web site, I'm not sure if the "sauce" on the cover is less horrifying because it's not white, or more horrifying because you know it's made of cum and it's a wholly unnatural color for jizz. It looks upsettingly like the prop jizz in that scene from "Antichrist." I looked through the contents, and none of the recipes were satisfactorily punny for me, so I went to the trouble of coming up with some recipes that I think should be in the book. Give me your best shot in the comments. Groan.

-Creamed corn! Hurrr.

-Pearl necklace tapioca

-Cinnamon sticky buns

-Kumquat marmalade

-Boston cream pie

-Irish cream shot

Damnit! That's all I got. This is harder than it looks. OH GEEZE. Wait, one more. Don't be afraid to swallow, I'm sure it's delicious! YESSSSS.