BULLSHIT: Orzo

I'll just preface this complaint by saying that when I did a Google image search for orzo for an image for this post, 97% of the images that I found were of various orzo salads with shrimp and tomatoes and myriad and sundry other green things, such as green onions, I'm sure, or parsley. Which should basically tell you all you need to know about orzo is that it's only good for shrimp-based pasta salads, apparently.

Now let's break this down, just so we can all get a good idea of what we're dealing with here. Orzo is pasta that is shaped like rice. Now, I love pasta very much. I worked in a pasta shop for too many years, and I've gone through phases where I've eaten it every day for long periods of time. And as we all know, I love me the shit outta some rice. But something about melding the two just makes me uneasy. I've never really been able to grok orzo, and I just don't like it. When I eat it, I'm expecting rice, but it's not, and it just feels so weird in my mouth (not what she said). Plus when you drain it, it all falls through the holes in the colander, which is totally useless.

I don't really have any other concrete reason to hate orzo, but come on, think about it. It's kind of the most useless pasta in existence. Get away from me, orzo. You're bullshit.