In the beginning...there was Ugh.

If you’re reading this blog at this present moment, then you’re probably here because you already know me, and you already know about my affliction. For those who don’t know me, we’re all here today because I’ve been harboring a not-so-deep and shameful secret: I’m a picky eater.

Far off in the misty wilds of anomaly where people who enjoy jogging on treadmills lie, there exists a group of mature, intelligent adults who have yet to outgrow their five-year-old predilections towards turning up their noses at benign foods like onions and mushrooms. Unfortunately, I am one of those people. This might be acceptable were I not harboring this silly dream of becoming a food writer. So I'm embarking on an intrepid journey, forcing myself to eat all the foods I can't stand so I can share my story with those who hate tomatoes as much as I do.

Luckily, I’m not as bad as some (Adult Picky Eating — or APE as it will forthwith be called — is actually classified as an eating disorder), but srsly folks, I’m really tired of people being all like, “Gee, how am I not surprised?” every time I voice my displeasure at donuts or bananas or something. So I’m trying to do something about it. Which, of course, means writing a book. What? Sure. That is a real solution, whatever.

This whole weird adventure started when I was reading Jeffrey Steingarten’s book, “The Man Who Ate Everything” a few years ago. He’s the Vogue food critic, and also the total d-bag judge on Iron Chef America. In the foreward, he details a little experiment he did before he became the Vogue food critic because he felt he wasn’t truly qualified unless he rid himself of every single pickiness he held. Reading through his rather extensive list of reviled foods, I realized that even the most prolific eaters have foods that they can’t stand. This coupled with an enlightening article I read about APEs whose culinary repetoires consisted of about 10 ingredients is where the idea for “Gagging Towards Bethlehem” was born.

I realized that I wasn’t alone in my problem. Everyone has foods that they hate, and just because I may be a little more discerning than some, it’s not nearly as bad as it could be. So I’m going to try to get over my pickiness by trying foods I hate right at the source. And that’s basically where I stand now. I’m raising the money so I can go on the necessary transcontinental journey to familiarize myself with Proscuitto (from Parma, Italy) or Roquefort (from France) and then self-publish my book on Lulu. And yes, the trip necessary, so suck it.

I’ll be using this as an area to explore some weird foods, and my aversions to some not-so-weird foods, so stay tuned. I'll also be posting excerpts from the book as I write it, and essays about some of the foods that I'll be trying to conquer. You have to deal with this until I raise $10,000.

In conclusion, I thought this perfectly illustrated why everyone who thinks I’m picky needs to STFU. I’m the pink, and my friend, Ryan Sweeney from Choose Local Music is the walnut-hater: